Victim Impact Statement
Emotional/Physical Impact and Sentencing Recommendation
The acts of Michael Lallana have absolutely impacted me emotionally and physically. The confession of Mr. Lallana caused me to go into depression; I had to seek counseling to find a way to get through this period in my life. From the time of the confession until after the trial, I have spent many days crying, not sleeping, feeling anxious and scared, and worrying. I have not maintained a healthy diet, social life, intimacy level with my husband, or desire to exercise. I spent many days during the months of July, August, and September feeling nauseous. The idea that I had Mr. Lallana's semen in my mouth, without my knowing, against my will, for his sexual pleasure sickens me. I threw up several times the day that he confessed and I have suffered several similar episodes after that.
What I experienced was not rape, but I feel that it was a form of rape. I ultimately experienced sexually inflicted harm without my consent. Needless to say, my mood has been extremely down for many months since the confession. I felt that Mr. Lallana also dragged out the trial and sentencing as long as possible, which has not only caused me great stress, but has also prevented me from being able to move on.
Mr. Lallana has stripped me of my ability to trust. I certainly can't trust new people and I can't trust people I think I know. Mr. Lallana was a seemingly nice person; I had no idea what his capabilities were and how twisted his thoughts of me could be. He was a married man with a daughter. I doubt that anyone would ever suspect him of this, but he did it.
Mr. Lallana's actions robbed me of so many things, including my job. He took a perfectly fine situation and workplace and turned it upside-down so that there would be no way for me to continue my career at Northwestern Mutual, because of the memories that I have as a result of his criminal misconduct against me there.
I am beyond ready for this time in my life to be over. The energy, time, and money I have spent on his MONUMENTAL lapse in judgment and desire to harm me can never be replaced. The energy, time, and money he has caused others to spend (jury, judge, lawyers, tax-payers) can also never be replaced.
With that said, my hope is for the maximum sentencing for Mr. Lallana. To know that he may only receive a year in jail is less than satisfying. The thought that he might receive probation horrifies me. I feel that would be very unfair. Many people agree that even the maximum sentence possible in this case does not suit the crime. Nevertheless, I hope that the court will sentence Mr. Lallana to the maximum sentence possible under the law and that the court would hand down a sentence that the court would think is appropriate if Mr. Lallana had committed the criminal acts not to me, but to the judge's own daughter. I would also like to see that restitution be paid, as I have incurred many expenses, as well as lost wages because of Mr. Lallana's actions. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I believe Mr. Lallana should be a registered sex offender. That will help to notify the community about Mr. Lallana and his history of criminal batteries for sexual gratification.
At this point, if no jail time is ordered, Michael Lallana has no reason not to commit similar crimes in the future. If the defendant receives probation, I feel that my efforts to have Michael Lallana convicted were worthless. He has weaseled his way through this entire process, costing everyone time, money, and energy. I have been forced to be in the public eye so uncomfortably - to fight for justice. The idea that Michael Lallana wouldn't serve time for his crime would give me no peace or vindication. It's unfathomable to think that he will not be held accountable for his actions after confessing to and being convicted of this heinous crime.
Thank you, your Honor for allowing me to present my victim impact statement today.
Victim Impact Statement